Monday, 4 April 2011

A Hard Decision

Hmmm. I've learned just how difficult this can be. Not for me, but for the 'characters' in my 'play', all of which are real. I suppose on some level it's difficult for me, too, but more so for them. Did you ever wonder how 'Big' might have felt while dating someone on-and-off who quite literally published the ongoings of her love life in a tabloid newspaper?

Now, I found the programme incredibly educational, refreshing and comforting. I started watching it when I was 15 and on the verge of 'coming out'. I grew up with it and it was the next best thing I had to a Holy Book. There were disasters, there were tears, there was joy and there were shocking scenes and a lot of sex for a prime-time TV show. It was ground-breaking stuff with a lot of 'talking power' (I can't say the made-up word I want to here because it's a registered trade mark of a well-known PR agency I work with).

Still, when you relate it to our reality, I can't imagine being comfortable in being codenamed something provocative and being talked about in a very public manner about the remits of my ability to satisfy my partner. Maybe that's why the show had to end - the girl got the guy in the end and that's where it had to end. Who wants to constantly have a 'happy ending' rubbed in their faces?

This is an unexpectedly happy ending to the chapter of my life you've been reading about. I never gave up the hope that I'd find the right mix of physical fulfillment and emotional happiness with another person, but I have now and I'm scared, but I'm happy. I'm not the last single gay boy in London, as opposed to the 'last single girl in Manhattan.'

Thank you all for keeping up with me and for the continued support. I have a new blog on the way, but I'm not sure whether to disclose my identity on that one yet!